In honor of
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‘s birthday, I give you the Shana and Matt IM Greatest Hits:
Shana: she’s…not a person I’d recommend for a friend to date
Matt: who said anything about dating her?
Shana: who said I was talking about you?
Matt: who said you have any friends other than me?
—
Shana: speaking of which…now you have me looking at boobs at the gym
Matt: then my work here is done
—
Shana: Dallas is such a closet hippie
Matt: I don’t think you know Dallas anymore…
Shana: he’s like a homophobe that turns out to be gay
Matt: I think that Dallas is the kind of hippie who just pretends to be a hippie becasue all the hippie chicks don’t wear bras and put out
Shana: he hates it a little toooo much, if you know what I mean
—
Shana: I don’t know BASIC
Shana: I was just making a joke
Shana: why does everyone get so freakin geeky on Yehoodi?
Matt: that was rhetorical, right?
—
Shana: but if they dated me, they must be strange
Matt: strange…like a FOX!
Shana: um, I think it’s crazy like a fox
Matt: like a FOX!
Shana: riiiiight
Matt: right…like a FOX!
—
Shana: Course, it still feels like a rejection, which I wasn’t exactly angling for…
Matt: well, what were you angling for?
Shana: um…not-rejection…
Matt: your command of the english language is nothing short of amazing
—
Shana: no more online sex
Matt: um
Shana: no matter how much you cry
Matt: that’s like threatening me “no more cures for cancer”
—
Matt: I rule
Shana: but I still won’t sleep with you
Matt: I think we’ve established that
Shana: just checking
Matt: you know…talking to you does wonders for my self-esteem
—
Shana: YAY! Matt!!!!
Matt: my own personal shana cheerleader
Shana: 2-4-6-….wait, what comes after 6?
Matt: putting out
Shana: of course!
Shana: I forgot to remember that
Matt: that’s why you are not a good cheerleader
—
Matt: hey, you are not allowed to make comments about my sexual inadequecies without field knowledge
Shana: well then, bring it on!
Shana: (there’s a great pick up line…remember that)
Matt: which one?
Matt: “bring it on”?
Shana: no, your line
Shana: but if you’re talking to a guy, “bring it on” works just as well
Matt: true
Matt: if you’re talking to a guy, “Hey! You’re standing on my foot!” works just as well
—
Shana: [He] might also be horrified to know that there will be no cake, church, officiant, garter, bouquet toss, obedience, God, or jordan almonds
Matt: I hate jordan almonds
Shana: I hate obedience
—
Matt: same with craig t nelson
Shana: who?
Matt: he played bob
Matt: he was “coach”
Shana: on what show?
Matt: “coach”
—
Shana: you can’t judge her by your standards
Shana: you are clearly screwed up