Everything about me…

Matt Stratton | Apr 23, 2002 min read

…that fits into a stupid quiz thing.

  1. WHAT’S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR LJ USERNAME?

Well, my latest nickname is “Mugsy”. Actually, the most recent is “Moogsy”. Mugsy comes from “Mugsy Malone,” which is my alias on Windyhop. And the “1274” represents that I was born in Dec 1974.

  1. NAME FIVE [5] OF YOUR FAVORITE PIG-OUT FOODS.

Italian beef sandwiches

Cereal with no redeeming social value (such as Cap’n Crunch or Cocoa Krispies)

Bagels with salmon cream cheese

Cheezits

Mike and Ike

  1. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MAKEOVER?

Well, recently, my friend Tracy helped me pick out new clothes and get a new hairstyle.

  1. NAME ALL MEMBERS OF THE BEATLES.

George Harrison

Ringo Starr

John Lennon

Paul McCartney

Pete Best

Stu Sutcliffe

  1. WHAT’S THE LONGEST TIME YOU’VE STAYED OUT OF THE COUNTRY/WHERE?

I was in London for two weeks for work.

  1. ONE THING YOU’RE GRATEFUL FOR, TODAY.

The hard rocking that is the D.

  1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORY?

Playing “Assassin” with my fellow camp counselors. Ask me to tell you the “hiding in the trunk” story sometime.

  1. WHAT IS THE MOST INSANE THING YOU’VE DONE FOR/TO YOUR CRUSH THAT HE/SHE MIGHT NOT/MIGHT KNOW ABOUT?

Well if she doesn’t know about it, she’d know after reading this, so why would I say it here?

  1. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING.

After seeing my friends Evin and Noah married in shul, it made me really want a traditional Jewish wedding. However, that would require me to marry a Jewish woman, and I don’t like limiting my options like that.

I am willing to get married by an Elvis impersonator in a kippuh in Vegas.

  1. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE QUOTE? WHAT IS IT?

“Hold on tightly, let go lightly.”

  1. MY FIRST HEARTBREAK HAPPENED WHEN I WAS…

In 6th grade (I think) I asked Jenny Rooney to a dance and she said no. It had taken me hours to get the courage to call her and ask her.

  1. THE SCHOOL PICTURE YOU BURIED IN YOUR BOTTOM DRAWER?

Pretty much any of them. However, the photo from my school ID my senior year was one of the best pictures ever taken of me. I kept it in my wallet all through college, I liked it so.

  1. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD PREFERENCES? WHAT ARE THEY?

I can’t stand to be sticky. I eat anything with syrup (pancakes, waffles, French toast) in a very particular way, to avoid getting syrup on my hands.

  1. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?

Bras.

  1. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Some weird love-child combination of Trinlacious D and Shermu, the Killer Tuna.

  1. NAME ONE TV CHARACTER YOU’D MOST WANT TO BE.

Nick from “Family Ties”

  1. IF YOU WERE FAMOUS, AND WERE TO BE A GUEST ON A TALK SHOW, WHOSE SHOW WOULD YOU CHOOSE? WHY?

I’d want to be on “The View”, so I could explain to those broads that all they needed was some serious deep-dickin’.

  1. GIVE YOURSELF A PORN STAR NAME.

Mugsy Malone

  1. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD SLEEPING HABITS?

Apparently not only do I talk in my sleep (this ended a relationship for me once), but I am ALL OVER THE PLACE. I toss and turn. And I like to fall asleep with my hands under the pillow.

  1. WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO THIS SUMMER?

Stealin’, bonin’, blowin’ shit up…

  1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG RIGHT NOW?

“Tribute” – Tenacious D

  1. WRITE A LINE FROM ANY SONG.

“Like Jake Lamatta and his brother Joe Pesci!”

  1. DO YOU KNOW AT LEAST ONE DISNEY SONG BY HEART? WHICH ONE?

No, but I know lots of show tunes.

  1. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOUSE.

Definitely has a movie theater built in the basement…theater-style seating…projector…a billion speakers…oh, and I like a bunch of fish tanks built into the walls, like Troy McClure had. But not for the same reason.

  1. YOUR TYPICAL SLEEPWEAR

Pajama pance from someplace like A&F or Gap and a t-shirt.

  1. WHAT’S IN YOUR BAG?

My laptop. And some kind of film book lately.

  1. WHAT’S IN YOUR WALLET?

Money. Credit cards. Driver’s license. Lots of receipts.

  1. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR WALLET RIGHT NOW?

Thirteen dollah, make you hollah.

  1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES?

I like these boots I have now. They’re like Beatle boots, if Beatle boots didn’t look anything like Beatle boots.

  1. IF YOU COULD’VE GONE TO YOUR SENIOR PROM IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Two words: liquid latex

  1. HOW WAS YOUR SENIOR PROM?

It was a massive production, because my friends and I were incapable of actually just going to a dance…we had to construct a restaurant in one of our homes and take our dates there.

  1. TELL US ABOUT ANY OF YOUR BIRTHDAYS.

My 26th birthday…I got so drunk I ended up dating someone for four months.

  1. WOULD YOU RATHER BE A HOBBIT, AN ELF OR A DWARF?

I want to be a kender.

  1. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD SPLURGE ON IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE?

  2. New laptop(s)

  3. Wicked fast PowerMacs for DV editing. And a Canon XL-1S.

  4. I’d pay Lenny and Carl a thousand bucks to kiss each other.

  5. I’d buy my girl a horse

  6. Crackerjack. Lots and lots of Crackerjack.

  7. WHAT IS YOUR DAILY BEFORE-GOING-TO-BED RITUAL?

I pretty much just go to bed after watching The Simpsons.

  1. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST/FUNNIEST NICKNAME ANYONE HAS EVER CALLED YOU?

“The Best Sex I’ve Ever Had” – strangely enough, it was my fraternity brother Melvin who called me this*

  1. NAME THREE [3] OF YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTERS.

  2. Gil

  3. Jay Sherman

  4. Warren “Professor Ape” DeMontague (he’s not really a cartoon, but he’s funny, so fuckoffdarren)

  5. WHAT ARE THE MAGAZINES YOU READ ON A REGULAR BASIS?

Time

EW

MacWord

Wired

Ad-Astra

  • – I was not in a frat. This is made up for comedic purposes. Dork.