So Saturday was my berfday.
For some reason, we went to Columbus, Ohio for it.
Friday night, Chris, Sarah, Sherman, and I drove out to Columbus, because Dallas was throwing some swing weekend thing. Somehow this made sense.
The trip out there was fairly uneventful – soda was spilled in the car, directions were lost, White Castle was consumed, and Chris Rock was listened to. We arrived at the Red Roof Inn, which was basically a crackhouse. Sarah was tired, so she went to sleep, but Chris, Sherman, and I went to the late night. Which was at the YWCA. We had a couple belts of Jack Daniels, which we shared with Deor, and then went back to our crackroom with some of the kids, where we proceeded to stay up talking, drinking, and smoking until 5 am. And somehow the crackhead neighbors didn’t complain.
Saturday was an adventure in finding someplace to eat, since apparently ever fucking thing in Columbus is closed on the weekends. Plus Dallas has lived there for who knows how long, and can’t give good directions. So we ate at Appleby’s.
Went to the Saturday night dance which was in some kind of hospital place. Chicago entered the “Battle of the Ohio Swing Cities” contest at the very last minute, which made Dallas and Chul the Destroyer angry at us. But I had no part in that, as I was in the parking lot smoking at the time.
Chicago ended up winning the contest after all. I had a man-love dance with Dallas, Jayno, and Jake, in which I accidentally punched Dallas in the jaw. And I finally got to dance with Devon.
We went to a strip club called “The Mirage”, which had received four stars on some “review” site. It was really scary. Definitely in the ghetto. We stayed there long enough to slam our beers, and then went to “The Gold Fox”. Which was much better. It was behind the Waffle House.
Got pretty drunk at the Fox, and got two lap dances. Which were sub-par. But they were purchased for me, so I can’t complain.
Sunday we met Dallas for breakfast at the Hometown Buffet. Which sucked. Hardcore. So Dallas lost even more points. Found out that if we’d asked Devon, she’d have been able to tell us the really top-shelf titty bars in Columbus. Fucking Dallas.
Ended up running into Evin, Jayno, and Ryan at a BP in Indiana on the way home. Which was weird, because they had left about two hours before we did! Turns out that Dallas had told them (as he’d told us) to take 70 EAST, not west, home. Even though everyone knows Chicago is WEST of Ohio. Especially Dallas, who has made that drive a million times. Of course, after this weekend, we’d learned to second-guess any directions Dallas gave us. But Ryan drove east about 45 minutes before realizing they’d gone the wrong way.
Came home and watched “Expedition: Bismark” on Discovery. It was pretty damn fly.
m.