Just found this in an old email…here are some of my favorites…
How many directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well…um…what do you think?
How many lighting techs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Nothing happens on that @#$%ing side of the stage anyway!
How many playwrights does it take to change a light bulb?
Change? Why does it have to change? No changes, it’s perfect just the way it is.
How many master electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
We don’t change bulbs, only halogen lamps. It’s a Props problem.
How many props masters does it take to change a light bulb?
Light bulb?! When did they even get a lamp?
How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Why do we need another light bulb?
How many lighting designers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Where’s my assistant?
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows. They can never find their light.
How many stage managers does it take to screw in a …
Done.