Chicago Cubs to St. Louis Cardinals Conversion Form
Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of
the St. Louis Cardinals Fan Club. Due to an
unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently
processing only fan conversion registrations for
Chicago Cub fans. Conversion requests from other
teams will be accepted once all Cub requests are
processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks
based on the current backlog of requests.
Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion
form below to help us get to know you better and
prescribe any required counseling to recover from
your previous fan experience.
Name: __________
Last First MI
(Please Print)
Address:____________________
____________________
____________________
- Please indicate the last time you watched the
Chicago Cubs win the World Series:
[ ] 1908 (Please leave this form at the front desk
of your nursing home)
[ ] Have never witnessed this event
- Please indicate your favorite moments in Cubs
history: (Check all that apply)
[ ] Lou Brock traded to the Cardinals for Ernie
Broglio in 1964
[ ] The College of Coaches in the early 60�s
[ ] Lee Smith grooving a fastball to Steve Garvey in
game 4 of the 1984 NLCS.
[ ] Brant Brown dropping a fly ball in 1998 which
forced a 1 game playoff with the Giants.
[ ] Grounder goes between Leon Durham’s legs during
game 5 of 1984 NLCS
[ ] Fan interfering with Foul Ball during game 6 of
2003 NLCS.
[ ] Leo Durocher’s AWOL visit to his sons Military
School during 1969 pennant run.
[ ] A Black Cat running in front of Ron Santo during
critical 1969 series in Shea Stadium.
[ ] Future Hall of Famer Greg Maddox not tendered
offer and signs with Atlanta Braves.
[ ] Atlanta Braves featuring Greg Maddox sweep Cubs
out of 1989 playoffs
[ ] Don Young dropping the fly ball in 1969
[ ] Mark Grace not tendered offer by Cubs, signs
with Diamondback and wins World Series.
[ ] Manager Lee Elia’s profanity filled tirade at
beginning of 1983 season.
[ ] Sammy Sosa getting caught using a corked bat
during 2003 season.
[ ] Cubs blow 8 game late August lead and finish 8
games behind 1969 Mets.
[ ] Cubs reliever Dickie Noles drinks full case of
beer and attacks Cincinnati police after game.
- Reasons you believe the Cubs have not won a World
Series since 1908: (Check all that apply)
[ ] The curse of the goat
[ ] Lack of managing
[ ] The curse of the goat
[ ] Lack of pitching
[ ] The curse of the goat
[ ] Lack of hitting
[ ] The curse of the goat
[ ] Lack of Defense
[ ] The curse of the goat
[ ] Bad Calls by umpires
[ ] The curse of the goat
- Have you experienced any of the following after
another inevitable Cubs loss: (Check all that
apply)
[ ] Headache
[ ] Uncontrollable anger
[ ] Heartache
[ ] Holes punched in doors or walls
[ ] Nausea
[ ] Smashed TV Screens
[ ] Depression
[ ] Avoided Cardinals and White Sox Fans for days
- Is October your least favorite time of year
[ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are You tired of saying ‘Wait til next year’?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are you ready to admit that:
a. Stan Musial was better than Ernie Banks?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
b. Bob Gibson was better than Fergie Jenkins?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
c. Ozzie Smith was better than Ryne Sandberg?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
d. Mark McGwire was better than Sammy Sosa?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
e. Jack Buck was better than Harry Caray?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
f. Tony LaRussa is a managerial genius?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
g. The next Cub century will be no better than the
last?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
h. Budweiser is better than Oldstyle?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Once you have completed this form, please forward to
Busch Stadium. Then burn all of your remaining Cub
clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After
reviewing your request, the Cardinals Fan Club will
contact you with notification of acceptance or
rejection.
If accepted, you will receive:
- A recommended recuperation program which includes
a recording of ‘Meet me in St Louis’ over and
over again.
- An opportunity to obtain tickets to the 2004
playoff series at Busch Stadium.
- Posters of Lou Brock and Bruce Sutter in Cardinal
uniforms.
-
A Dart board sporting the picture of Sammy Sosa.
-
A copy of our popular handbook, ‘Harassing Cub
fans for fun and profit’.
- A Coupon for a future poster of Mark Prior and
Kerry Wood in Cardinals unforms.
- A one year subscription to a weekly support group
for ex-Cub fans in your area.
If rejected, you will receive:
Our pity and condolences, plus a 10 second video
capturing the past 100 years of Cub highlights in
head-to-head competition against the Cardinals
narrated by Larry Biitner.
I hereby renounce the Chicago Cubs for all eternity
on this the ________ day
of _______\__, 200____
_______________
(Signed)
______________________
(OfficeUse only)
[ ] Approved
[ ] Declined