I’ve come to some conclusions lately. Well, maybe not conclusions, but more like “conceptions”.
I’m going to be 30 years old in less than two months. (I fully realize that many of you are older than 30, so the first person who posts anything about “30 isn’t old…you’re just a baby!” get baleted from my friends list.) And maybe I’m having a 30 year old crisis, I don’t know.
Anyway, I feel really stagnant lately. Some things are going really well – work seems to be going in a great direction. I mean, nothing that I’m truly passionate about, but I seem to have been able to get myself professionally stable for the first time in over two years, which is good. I like the people I work with and it seems to be a good place to be. So that’s one good thing.
But everything else seems to be just…eh. I told Amanda today that I am going into “dating hibernation”. I think that I just don’t have the motivation to date right now – it seems like so much effort. Possibly it’s because I only hang out with couples and one or two other single guys. I realized this when I was giving Backstreet the guest list for my birthday party; almost all of the folks invited are couples. And it made me realize that there are no potentials for meeting anyone in my current social environment. Surprisingly, I’m okay with this.
I think I want a big change in the next year. I am more than halfway considering a relocation. I wouldn’t be able to do it for at least a year (because I would only do it if JPMC could transfer me, and they require me to stay in this position for at least a year). But in some ways I feel like I’ve gotten everything out of Chicago at this point. I feel like making a “starting over” move. It’s a scary proposition, which is why the city I’m considering is one where I know tons of people. I don’t know. I talked to my mom about this possibility, and she wigged out. Of course, she’s having major “empty nest” issues lately, since none of her kids live at home anymore. I was a little surprised that she reacted the way she did; I talk to my mom almost every day (although mostly on email or IM – phone calls are maybe weekly) but I only see my fam maybe once every six weeks or so. I can’t see how that would be drastically different if I lived 800 miles away instead of only 20.
One of the things my mom said was “Deb, who is very enamored of Chicago, would probably be looking to move in with you.” Of course, Debbie won’t be out of college for four years. While I think my sister would be a great roommate (we get along exceptionally well and have a lot in common) if I’m still living alone in this city when I’m 34, I think I’ll be pretty sad. I guess it would be better to be 34 and living alone in a new town – I don’t know.
It would be hard to give up the cool things I love about Chicago. It would be hard to give up Wrigley Field. It would be hard to give up my awesome neighborhood. It would be exceptionally hard to give up the friends I have made here. But maybe I need to do something hard.